"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
