my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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