chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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