This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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