I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
