I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize