I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
