do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
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I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
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I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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