i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Randomize
