office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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