I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize
