The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
