The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
