whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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