Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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