no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
