I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
