i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
