I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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