I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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