you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
