but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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