you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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