is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
