i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
