You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
