So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Randomize