You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize