No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
