Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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