standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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