hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
