So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
