puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
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