I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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