I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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