I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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