i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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