Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Randomize
