I hate all girls vehemently.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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