You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
