She said her name was "party"
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
