The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
