Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
