Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
