wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
