i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
