I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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