i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize