Pants 0. Shit 1.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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