Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
