my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize