You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
