we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
