the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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