you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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