i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
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