I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
