I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Randomize
